Hello! We are Ayano and Marina. We are interested in relationship of family. And we have some questions. Please tell us about relationship of family in your culture.
Our questions are…
How old children do you think should be treated as adults?
(We mean…until when do parents take a bath with them together and sleep in the same room with their children?)
Do you have body contacts with your parents often?
(Do you have body contacts even with a parent of the other sex?)
What do you think are father’s role and mother’s role in family?
Do children have any role in family? Should they help their parents?
Are there any differences between younger brother/sister and older brother/sister in family? Do they have the same power in family?
Do you think grandparents are a member of your family? Do they live with their children's family usually?
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I think that parents should let kids wash themselves alone and sleep in a bed alone by the age of three-four. Like the parents could help the child if they needed it but kids should be able to do those things themselves by then. Like my mom would let me take a bath by myself by check on me every few minutes. Im guessing by body contacts you mean hugs and kisses, and I do that with my parents everytime I see them. It helps me to show them that I missed them and love them. I think that parents both share the role as workers and care providers. I think that their is no distinct line anymore on what each one should do. Children should definitely help their parents out around the houseand stuff. They could also get their own jobs to help support themselves. Older siblings definitely take more responsiblity especially for their younger siblings. But, also when kids are in their teens they should be able to handle their own responsibilities. Grandparents are a huge part of family and sometimes they can live with their family.
ReplyDeleteIn the States, parents generally try to prepare their children to be independent starting at an early age. By the time the child is like 3ish they start doing things on their own (bathing, sleeping). Children are expected to help around the house and get a job around the time when they start to break away from their parents control (15, 16, 17). With that said, children often get treated different based on their personality. For example, if i parent feels as though their child is responsible and reliable, they may be given more responsibility and independence over a child that takes longer to grown up and is less mature. Older siblings are expected to assist and guide younger ones, as they are looked at as role models. This isnt really power though... status within a familiy is based on the role you make for yourself and while there are expectations, one's position in a family isnt measure in power. It's mearured in the difference and influence (positive or negative) one makes in reference to other members.
ReplyDeleteTypically, I think that kids start being independent around age 3, but whether they are capable to doing things completely by themselves is not always certain. But I would say that definitely by atleast age 4-5 they should be completing tasks on their own.
ReplyDeleteOn a daily basis, I don't normally hug or kiss my parents. Ocassionally I do. It generally depends on the circumstances. If I am sad or upset I do come in contact with them a lot. As well as if I leave the house for a long period of time I leave them with lots of hugs. I hug my mom more, but that is only because I see her more hours of the day ( not because I feel uncomfortable hugging my father ).
The fathers are generally the ones working, but in todays world the mothers work just as much as the fathers. Mothers usually cook dinner and clean the house but I've seen fathers do the same. I think it depends on the family and what each persons schedule is like to contribute to the home and family. Children should help with things in the house. They need to contribute and it will give them responsibility.
Older siblings tend to have more power as well as more responsibility. Younger siblings, when they arent fighting with each other, tend to look up to the older ones and follow in their path but they arent expected to do as much yet. Grandparents are a huge part of my family. They have authority even though they dont live with me. I respect their opinions and they are very important. It is not uncommon that grandparents live with their childrens family either, I have just not experienced it.
I think that parents should stop bathing and sleeping with their children once the child is capable of doing it on their own. This is usually when the child is around 3 or 4 years old. In the United States, it is important for individuals to be independent, and this independence starts to form at a young age if the parents allow it.
ReplyDeleteI usually hug or kiss my parents on the cheek every time I say goodbye. I think it is important to show your parents that you appreciate and love them.
My father and mother both have equal roles in the family. They both work full-time and take turns doing household chores. They both contribute and support our family equally.
In American families, children are also expected to have a role. They should help out their parents as much as possible. They are also expected to get a job once they reach sixteen years old, so they can start to support themselves.
I have an older brother and I've realized that my parents are much more lenient with me than they were with him when he was my age. I also am very aware of what not to do, because I have witnessed my brother get in trouble many times. I have learned from his mistakes.
I most definitely consider my grandparents part of the family. However, I do not see them as often as my brother or my parents, because they do not live with me. My mom's parents live in their own house, and my dad's mom lives in an assisted living complex because her husband passed away a few years ago.
Responding to your first question, I would have to say that parents should begin treating their children as adults when they earn that privilege. I wouldn't say that there is any set age, however it should be when the child is capable of doing these things for themselves.
ReplyDeleteI would say that when I am home from college I do hug and kiss my parents on a somewhat daily basis. It would all have to depend on the circumstances and situation. If they are leaving to go on vacation or away for a substantial amount of time then their would be contact, however if they are just going to work then I don't believe that contact is necessary.
I would say that my fathers role in the family is the provider. He works more hours than my mother, and without him it would be very difficult for my family to live the life that we have grown accustomed to. My mother also works full time, however I would say her role is more involved in taking care of the house, making meals, that sort of thing.
Ever since I was ten years old I have been expected to do certain chores around the house. These chores may include taking out the trash, keeping my room clean, making my bed, and setting the dinner table. These are things that are not very big, however I can see how they could be a big help to my parents, especially as they have already had a full day of work.
As of today all of my grandparents have passed away, however when I was younger they were a big part of my childhood. They were always around on major holidays and other celebrations. They did not live my family, they had their own house.
I think 3 or 4 is a reasonable age for a child to start becoming independent. Especially sleeping alone, by that age they should be capable.
ReplyDeleteWhen I return home from being away at college, I have no problem hugging my parents. I don't think it is a big deal to do so.
I believe that the parents of a family need to work together to have a successful family. Both of my parents work full-time, and they work very hard. But they are always positive, and they share the tasks and duties around the house.
I think it is important for children to learn the values of hard work from their parents. I started helping around the house at a young age. Doing dishes, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash and other things were just expected of me.
Older siblings definitely have more power than younger siblings, or at least more freedom. The older a child gets, the more comfortable they are about talking with their parents about substantial issues and decisions.
I do believe grandparents are a part of the family, but I consider them a part of the extended family, like aunts and uncles. Sometimes they live with the family, but I think it is somewhat uncommon.
I would also say that by age 3 or 4 is when children should be allowed to bathe by themselves. Maybe the parents should check on the children every so often, but they should be able to do it by themselves. I believe the only time I slept in the same room as my parents was when I was an infant and I was in a crib. Other than that, I find it unnatural for parents and children to sleep in the same room.
ReplyDeleteAs far as hugging, I hug my Dad typically everytime I see him and when I am leaving. It is more of a way to say, 'i love you and i'll miss you'. Typically, in an American family, the mother is the care-taker and the father is the bread-maker. yet this is not always the case.
Children should help out with the family even if it is in small ways. When they are younger, they should pick up after themselves and even help out with household chores like raking leaves. Older siblings should help out more than younger siblings because they hold more power and more responsibility.
My grandparents dont live with me, but I do know families that have their grandparents live with them.
I think around the ages of 4 or 5 children should have some sort of independence. I think as long as you feel the child is safe taking a bath without your supervision then it is a good time to give them some privacy. I think moving a child into their own room would happen at an earlier age because they are not so dependent on the parents. I do believe that parents should check up on them every now and then to make sure they are okay.
ReplyDeleteHugging and kissing are normal things that happen in the U.S. When I leave to go to school and come home from school I always give my mom a hug and a kiss and hug my father goodbye. This shows that I will miss them and love them. I think this is very common in our nation showing how you feel about your parents.
In the typical American family the mother stays home to take care of the kids and the house while the father works. This is how my family runs but I know many families where the roles are reversed and where both parents work. There is not one set standard.
As children grow up I think it is important for them to help around the house. They should do small chores when they are younger and then larger chores like mowing the lawn or shoveling snow. Older siblings have more responsibilities because they are seen as more powerful and mature. This leads to them having more independence but the younger siblings will get away with more because they are growing up and learning just how the older sibling did.
Grandparents do not commonly live with their sons or daughters by choice. My Grandfather has lived with us for a short period of time because of a health problem but he went back to his home when the doctors and my parents felt that he was able to live safely on his own again.
Thank you for a lot of comments!
ReplyDeleteWe found various cultural difference. We especially are surprised that children start being independent around age 3 or 4. For me, they are same as baby. In Japan, children take a bath and sleep in the same room with their parents until the lower grades of elementary school commonly.
And we have two more questions. Please tell us.
1. Are female and male children treated differently?
2. What do you think is independence?
(Is it living by myself? getting a job?)
How old children do you think should be treated as adults?
ReplyDelete- Children should be treated as adults when their parents decide that they are mature enough to hold the same responsibilities as adults. Parents should bathe with and sleep with their children in the same room until the children are about 3 years old, or when the parents are confident that the child we be safe by themselves.
Do you have body contacts with your parents often?
- I have body contacts with my parents whenever I see them. If I leave to go anywhere, I always give my parents a hug and a kiss. If I don't do this, I feel like I'm being rude to them, which they do not deserve.
What do you think are father’s role and mother’s role in family?
-The father is often the provider while the mother is seen as the nurturer. They have separate roles to ensure that the family's needs are being met, and everyone is safe and well-off.
Do children have any role in family? Should they help their parents?
- The children often have chores such as cleaning their rooms, making their beds, washing dishes, doing the laundry, etc. This helps the family out, as well as preparing the children for life on their own.
Are there any differences between younger brother/sister and older brother/sister in family? Do they have the same power in family?
- The older siblings have more power in the family and often feel as if they can boss around their younger family members. My sister and I are 8 years apart and are completely different. I always try to treat her with respect and always ask her if she wants to come along with me if I go anywhere, but she wants nothing to do with it. If we were more similar, maybe she would come along with me more often.
Do you think grandparents are a member of your family? Do they live with their children's family usually?
-My grandparents are a huge part of my family. We like to be with them as often as possible and spend time with them; we don't know when they will be gone forever. They lived in the house where my Mom grew up for maybe 40 years. Grampa is now in a nursing home while Nana lives at my Uncle's house in the in-law apartment.
How old children do you think should be treated as adults?
ReplyDeleteI believe when I child is fully toilet trained and everything is when they should start being treated with independence
Do you have body contacts with your parents often?
I hug both of my parents and sometimes I kiss them on the cheek
What do you think are father’s role and mother’s role in family?
My father is engineer with a master’s degree and a pharmacist on the weekend and my mother is a register nurse with a master’s degree. Well...my father does make more than my mother the roles are the same. My parents work together on everything from punishing my brother and I when we were younger to decisions on the house.
Do children have any role in family? Should they help their parents?
My brother and I have always had a responibility to clean our rooms, do the dishes etc. We were always expected to help my parents and even at 21, I still do.
Are there any differences between younger brother/sister and older brother/sister in family? Do they have the same power in family?
My older brother always had more power and they used to beat me up, but what older brother or sister didn't?
Do you think grandparents are a member of your family? Do they live with their children's family usually?
Yes, grandparents are a member of my family. My grandmothers at a time did live with my family and I loved it. I was very close with my grandmother on my mother's side until she passed away. :[